2 weeks left. I could feel the tension in the air.
People ask me. Why do i rest so little between my sets. Why i am so uptight when it comes to shedule. I tell you this. When i feel weakness getting into me and seeping into my veins at the bottom of my sets or making me feel wasted by late nights, delayed meals, the insecurites start creeping in. I feel defeated.
Im not a person haunted of the past. Im not a victim of consequence. I am me.
Yet here i am. Covered with fucked up resolution i pushed upon myself. Yeah i do sleep, i do eat and i do train. But this takes just more then that. Its just not perfect yet. I would not stop till i am. The social cycle is fucking me up. Invites for christmas parties. Chirstmas cards. You name it. I just cant fucking take this. Im no dedicated friend i tell you. Im only there because you bothered to be there for me and i appreciated that. The only reason why i cant bear to shut you off is the fear of losing it all completely. Call me gay. Call me indifferent. This is me. Chirstmas may be around the corner yet it means nothing to me. I'd probabbly train legs on that day, go home and cook my meals for the day. Im not asking for your pity. Just your much appreciated understanding towards me and my goal. Im like an anchor, i only drag those close to me down. Call me a complete bastard or a god. Your views are meaningless to me. I am what see of myself. Nothing more. Nothing less.
I name it here. I'm sorry if i cant be there where you all are. Especially you friends. This is me. This is the life i have chosen.
Things are moving too fast. My mum's being career minded. My dad's hardly home. My younger sister is preoccupied and my older sister is either partying or at school doing late night project. Im here left to fend for myself with my own skin and bones ever since i was kid. Those who know me please. Its either i talk to you or no one else.
The purpose of this blog was to cleanse my soul upon weaknesses and flaws. Im here to create something great. To crush insecurities and to preach immortality The time has come and the time is now. Its time to get things straight and unleash this beast within.
People ask me. Why do i rest so little between my sets. Why i am so uptight when it comes to shedule. I tell you this. When i feel weakness getting into me and seeping into my veins at the bottom of my sets or making me feel wasted by late nights, delayed meals, the insecurites start creeping in. I feel defeated.
Im not a person haunted of the past. Im not a victim of consequence. I am me.
Yet here i am. Covered with fucked up resolution i pushed upon myself. Yeah i do sleep, i do eat and i do train. But this takes just more then that. Its just not perfect yet. I would not stop till i am. The social cycle is fucking me up. Invites for christmas parties. Chirstmas cards. You name it. I just cant fucking take this. Im no dedicated friend i tell you. Im only there because you bothered to be there for me and i appreciated that. The only reason why i cant bear to shut you off is the fear of losing it all completely. Call me gay. Call me indifferent. This is me. Chirstmas may be around the corner yet it means nothing to me. I'd probabbly train legs on that day, go home and cook my meals for the day. Im not asking for your pity. Just your much appreciated understanding towards me and my goal. Im like an anchor, i only drag those close to me down. Call me a complete bastard or a god. Your views are meaningless to me. I am what see of myself. Nothing more. Nothing less.
I name it here. I'm sorry if i cant be there where you all are. Especially you friends. This is me. This is the life i have chosen.
Things are moving too fast. My mum's being career minded. My dad's hardly home. My younger sister is preoccupied and my older sister is either partying or at school doing late night project. Im here left to fend for myself with my own skin and bones ever since i was kid. Those who know me please. Its either i talk to you or no one else.
The purpose of this blog was to cleanse my soul upon weaknesses and flaws. Im here to create something great. To crush insecurities and to preach immortality The time has come and the time is now. Its time to get things straight and unleash this beast within.