Stay Hungry.

Admit it. We all have our fare shares of sick thoughts.

Ya right. At times, you feel like a healthy junkie working out that hot ass.

There are times when something gets on your nerves. It fucking echoes within you and you see it at the close of your eyes. Constantly reminding.

Keep it burning motherfuckers.

I love every fucking moment of it.

All this pain, confusion, the struggles,the hesitation, the blood, the sweat and the tears.

You hear the loud echoes ringing in your frail heart.
Your hand are shaking from the last set

Can you handle this?

For those who asked, Here my typical meal for the day

7.30am Oatmeal + 5 eggs + Vitamin b and a pro vitamin complex + a cup of milk
9.00am Egg sandwich with little mayo with 2 wholemeal bread + 1/2 scoop protein with milk
10.00am Chicken breast with rice and cucumber
11.30am Steamed fish with rice vegetables and scrambles/steamed eggs
2pm tomato pasta with chicken breast / beef with rice, tomatoes and beansprouts + fruit juice
5.45pm Tuna sandwich with a cup of milk + 1/2 scoop protein with milk
7.00pm Dinner
7.30pm Pre workout Protein shake and a pro vitamin complex + a cup of milk + 5g L-glutamine + 1x banana
7.45pm train
10pm Same food as dinner
11pm Milk with 1/2 scoop protein + L-glutamine

The worst thing I can be is the same as everybody else.





I hate that.

One after another they come ; Like blows exchanged on the ring.


You put up your best defenses and show aggression when it calls for,We pride to never falter never fall.

We put up a fight like its everything to us. Simply because it really is.


Sometimes, it hits so hard, it takes so much more to get up back on your feet and the bigger you are, the harder you fall. But you must get back up because every second spent on your back, is a second lost.


This isnt just about the game.

Its who you are. Its In on your name


Blood, guts, tears and ripped.

Morning guys and squirrels

Today, I'll be teaching you an application to a familiar phrase. Its called fuck it. There's something about that word that give you the sudden boost of confidence and get em balls rolling. You catch my drift?

The thing is, you must know how and when to use it. You dont say fuck it and grab em pack of chips nor say fuck it and get the best night of your life in a club with them girls at.

You say fuck it to sleep when its 4.15 in the morning and you have to get to prep for your workout when paradise opens at 0600. You say fuck it when you're supposed to do 4 impossible reps on the bending bar and you're about to do a couple more. Or when em abs hurting at the 545th rep of your abdominal workout. Perhaps when there's this big birthday celebration and they wanted you to be there when they cut em cake when its leg day. There's no fuck it in fuck it anymore. It redifines shit.



Talking about fuck it, i'm staring at this weird breakfast concoction i cropped up.
Does beef even goes with eggs? You dont see cows with chickens but you know what, fuck it. It gives me the 40g of protein i need for arms and calves at 0600.

Live the dream
Strength and honour

Labels: Phrase it right

Little things. Minor things.

Life's too fucking short to take your eyes of the goal you're headed to.

Dont let the little things bring you down. Put your strength and your best towards the bigger picture because at the end of the day when you face the wall, you'll either be thinking what if or be ready for the next step.

Your choice
Start acting.

Hydher

Breakfast, brunch, lunch, tea time, dinner and supper.
Tea time you kidding me?

I don't name my meals.
Listen to yourself and grow.

Pieces on the board you call em. Pawns, bishops, knights,castles, queen and the wussy king.

Life could be like em. A life of strategy and conquest. Small pieces gets taken over. We may need to lose pieces but why? A mistake? A sacrifice? Tempted by greed that you cant see the bigger picture?

Small mistakes and you could get back up on ye feet.
But the big ones? Damn you get knocked off the board.
Get my drift? Train hard never quit.

Labels: Like Chess

Dont sleep on snooze.
Stop the excuses.
Its time for heavy duty.

Its time.

Labels: Its time.

I cant wait to be in paradise, my temple, my solace.

When Im feeling high and happy, I train hard, i eat right and i grow.
When I'm feeling down and out, I bust my ass off, i eat clean and i prosper.
When I feel that everything is going everywhere but right, i take a deep breath, get a meal from the grill bar and drag his half beaten ass to the gym and take it right from there.
When I'm in love, i train hard.
When I'm out of love, i train even harder.
When I feel almighty, i lift right.
When I feel pathetic, i make things happen.


It doesnt change who i am or who i ought to be.

because nothing else really does matter.

Revisiting a previous post ;

The Mayonnaise Jar and Two Cups of Coffee

When things in your lives seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous "yes."

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

"Now," said the professor as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things--your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions--and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.

The sand is everything else--the small stuff. "If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

"Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first--the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked.

It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend."

Labels: The Mayonnaise Jar and Two Cups of Coffee

Feel the weight of your expectations on your shoulders. Put those legs apart breathe and give all that you got. Mind over body.

Never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never give up.

You really think you are doing you're best?
Are you pushing limits of your potential?
Are you taking calculated risks?
What are your priorities?
What defines you?
Who are you?
What is your purpose?
What is the reason?
What motivates you?
Who do you do it for?
What matter?
What dont?

Can you handle the heat?

When you've try hard and its not working out.
When you're putting in strides but feel like you're taking small steps ;

Its time to work even harder.

I'm sick of playing games.
Lets take this to a next level.

Maximum effort, Zero regrets.

So i just ended my leg day. Crazy ass 495 pounds squats and 625 pounds calf raises. Had people boldly counting my pies in my face. Day in, day out. Dont hold your breath for the turnaround.

Remember, If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys.

Live the dream

Strength and honour
Hydher

Have you ever wanted something so badly that you would give up everything for it? The glamour alike, the fame alike, the luxuries and cheap nothings. So much that you would ignore your inner voice and swap away temptations like they mean nothing?

Have you ever been so obsessed that you ever felt that it could have actually meant more than you? That you had everything to lose yet certain you had everything to gain?

Have you ever wanted it so badly that it is the first thing that comes to vision as you open your eyes and the last thing on your mind before closing them?

Brothers, if you ever want something so badly, you will visualise steps. These steps will take you to a higher calling. These people on the ground.. well.. they certainly dont see them. They have too many chains and loads or perhaps they just dont bother looking the fuck up. They dont understand a single word you say. But you see them and you hear its calling every fucking moment.

This is hardcore. This is animal. Can you handle it?

Labels: Desire

Nothing will stop me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=44jNTtSzsVM

Nothing will stop me.

You define your universe.

You have the power of gravity and you shall only pull what matters and revolve them around your world.

;My workouts are more important than me.

You might have broken my heart, you may have broken my hand.
But you shall never break me.

Labels: Your universe

Making decisions.

Revisit the stakes.
#1. What are you risking?
#2. What do you stand to lose?
#3. Can you afford it?
#4. What do you stand to win?

Many decisions are based on perspective. Perspective are never wrong nor right. They are of different dimensions or streams of thoughts. Never rethink a decision. If its wrong, learn from it. Never take too long. Opportunities are never there to stay. Often, a moment of shallow rationalisation would bring about a wave of unnecessary repercussion.

One of the greatest gifts to be happy in life is to be magnanimous in your acceptance of outcomes.

Life's too short

Life's too short to be standing by the alley ; If you dont enter doors, you'll never know what lies behind it.
Life's too short to be spending time with people that dont matter ; Decide what does and blow the rest away with a breath of kindness.
Life's too short to be spending time on things that dont matter ; Plan your day.
Life's too short to be spending money on things that dont matter ; Revisit your priorities.
Life's too short to have regrets ; Live for the future and not the past.
Life's too short to be lying defeated ; Brush yourself and get up.
Life's too short to be idling ; Get the fuck up and get moving.
Life's too short to be living each day as it is ; start making long term goals.
Life's too short to be revisiting decisions ; Live a little.

Overcoming barriers.

Obstacles, fears and limitations. Break them and break free. ; Like stakes on the table, you may not know the odds but if you dont play, you'll never win. Do you have nothing to lose but everything to gain? Take that chance. You may not be ready but opportunities do not wait for you. You'll never know whats behind the cards. Even if you lose, at least you can sleep soundly knowing you've tried. Be as bold as the uppercase.Grasp the opportunities that life throws upon you. Things happen for a reason.

Pain is my forte.

Stand for something or risk falling for everything.



What are words if you really don't mean them when you say them?
What are words if they're only for good times then they don't?
When it's love yeah, you say them out loud those words, they never go away
they live on, even when we're gone.

Your words.

‎People come, people go – they’ll drift in and out of your life, almost like characters in a favorite book. When you finally close the cover, the characters have told their story and you start up again with another book, complete with new characters and adventures. Then you find yourself focusing on the new ones, not the ones from the past.

First it was a graze.
Then now its a gashing wound.
Dont you get it? It gets you in deeper every time.
With each time, it got you thinking it was the best ever.

What time mind perceives, the body achieves.
Be that example.

I hear these voices in my head.
They counsel me ; They understand.

I accept all of the parts of who I am. What I cannot accept, I forgive.

Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.

You're not supposed to look back, you're supposed to keep going.

I did my best, I have no regrets.

I miss it all.

How i could walk down the streets and have people recognizing me from my blog or from what i do. How i could get under 1/4 of a ton and do squats with that with the gym caretaker at the edge of his fucking seat and all attention i got that i didnt give a shit about. It aint about glamour its about struggles and finding grace in all this mayhem.

I used to be against the saying what doesnt kill you makes you stronger.
Now, i live by that word.
Its about how events may have crippled you. How you find your stakes shorter when you are there to receive them or to have whats yours taken away from you and yet you fight back to make up for your shortcoming and working harder to get back to it ; better. It takes alot of motivation.

Its funny how some find can refer to a things that matter lightly. To me who i am represents me and my identity.

If you are reading this. Get-the-fuck-out-of-my-life. I dont want you. I dont need you. You got nothing i need. I tried to be all diplomatic about it but i came to realize that you dont deserve a single fucking drop of that. I'll be nice only to those that matters. You are weak. I should have listened to them on you. I should have known better. You will soon recognize karma because he'll slap you hard in the face with it when the right time comes.

Because changes comes from within.

"Don’t keep the past in your mind. Don’t be stressed over the future. Because if you’re too worried about what has already happened and what might happen, you can’t focus on what’s right in front of you. The present is what makes the future and what helps you move on from the past."

There comes a point in your life when you realize what really matters, what never did and what always will.

There comes a point in your life when you realize who really matters, who never did and who always will.

Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it’s always your choice.

Lack of passion is fatal

Leave your fears behind.

After awhile you learn the implications and weightage of actions and decisions. The difference in implications of decisions made on rationalization than emotions. How easy it is to fall into a whirlpool of affection and drown in obsession. How your fortress could become your cage if build on the wrong grounds on hasty and rash decisions. How priorities could shift in accordance to situations when the only constant is change. You begin to learn how important it is to only open doors when you feel that you could take on whats on the other side and to shut those that wouldn't matter. How at times, bad decisions are better than no decisions. To how some pursuits are best dropped like a hot potato. Be not afraid of mistakes as they are only lessons in preparation for something greater. Some roads no matter how tough have to be traveled on to reach others. Have a little faith, equip yourself with strength, the right values(MQ) Prepare yourself(IQ) and (Social approaches if applicable)EQ. Know how YOU can be compromised and never let yourself be in that situation.

You learn that you really can endure. You learned how to adapt. That you really are strong. You know best to have never stood so low. That you really do have worth to take on whatever life throws at you. That you could make do with whats little left of you to the fullest potential. You begin to accept ill fates and defeats with your head held up high and your eyes wide open because each failure brings you a leap closer and how you dislike successes because it only breeds contentment. To handle situations with the grace of maturity and not the grief of a child.

After awhile you learn that even sunshine may burn if you get too much. So plant your own garden and build your own soul instead of waiting for someone to bring you the fruits.

Whats that? Nothing good lasts forever?
Remember..
Good times doesnt last but neither do bad ones.

The pain of discipline and self restraint is negligent compared to the pain of disappointment.

I question myself constantly is this time of chaos. Who am I? What do i have? What do i want? What do i need? What are my desires? What are my weaknesses? What are my goals? All in hopes of finding myself again in this rubble of despair. I have embraced this load of pain. And its starting to taste bitter sweet.

My reasons have scattered. So much fear. So much pain. So much hatred. This bitter sweet angst has to be directed. Like the direction of rage of a charging bull. Time to leave this fortress turned into a hell hole and rebuild the empire.

No matter what life throws at me, I believe I can deal with it.
I analyze the situation, look for solutions, and choose the best one.

Was hanging out at just another Starbucks with an extraordinary person. This normal night turned out be a hustle to who i was and whom i was set out to be. The thoughts were so deep and based ; matured and so right. It was flawless and strong. Just beautiful.

My philosophies had always been my asylum, my foundation, strength and values. It had always kept me hungry and dedicated. Why did i leave it all behind?

Take a piece of paper and a pencil. Dot out your start and end point. Next, draw a freehanded line. Its fairly straight but who you kidding? its just not right. shit.. Use a ruler and join them together. Right there is the ideal approach you ought to be taking between you and your goals. No bullshit. but with the shit life throws at you, there are bound to be some hiccups, some screw ups and detours.. you might even end up going back and forth or in circles(circles are for losers who never learn). But keep your eyes at that point because only until you've reached close, you will never know fulfillment and your life would be one not worth living.

Life is too short to be dreaming. Grab your dreams by the balls and start working towards it. Those steps to those dreams have been walked before and those which havent, belongs to the greatest. No one is going to spoon feed you or tell you how it is to be done. You just have to find them.

Sorry this is raw. No whipped cream or topping on top.

Chilled protein shake with raw oats.
Awesome shit.

When you walked away, i knew nothing will ever be the same again.


adapted from im not afraid my eminem

Cause ain't no way I'm let you stop me from causing mayhem
When I say 'em or do something I do it, I don't give a damn
What you think, I'm doing this for me, so fuck the world
Feed it beans, it's gassed up, if a thing's stopping me
I'mma be what I set out to be, without a doubt undoubtedly
And all those who look down on me I'm tearing down your balcony
No if ands or buts don't try to ask him why or how can he
From Infinite down to the last Relapse album he's still shit'n
Whether he's on salary, paid hourly
Until he bows out or he shit's his bowels out of him
Whichever comes first, for better or worse
He's married to the game, like a fuck you for christmas
His gift is a curse, forget the earth he's got the urge

A Diamond is a piece of coal made good under pressure.

We always think that others have it much easier.

We have to learn to look deeper, to analyse and to rationalise in order to understand their efforts and how that can you learn from it.

kudos.

To lead, to excel and to overcome.

I am here, doing my part as an officer to be. Having to nurture and lead all these men from vast backgrounds in the future. Having to potray and instill the values of Loyalty, leadership, discipline, professionalism, fighting spirit, ethics and care. To learn to deal with the workload,. The selflessness I have to bear. The responsibilities that has been bestowed upon me. Can i do it?

I see these knolls that i have to climb. The failures that i would have to bear with every stride. The steep slopes that lies ahead of me. Its a route i have never taken but i am willing to try, experience and learn amongst the way.

Liabilities, onus, duties, responsibilities, problems with my girl, my future, my ambitions, my wants, my needs, my knowledge, my qualities, my abilities, my health my ageing loved ones, my maturing little sister, my fall shorts... i cant leave them behind.

When you fall hard, it hurts. The higher you are the harder you fall. It takes alot to get back up on your feet. Ill leave what has happened in the past and I will be constantly looking forward.

A little prayer and a heart full of hunger.

Terrible.

Thats the word that describes my life. Paying my dues, it seems more that i could have ever bargained for. Its more that what this hands could ever hold. My pendulum has been tip rocked. Definitely not for the faint hearted. This will be for the love of my country, loved ones and myself. For honour and glory. Ready to strike. If god brings me to it, he will surely bring me through it. Through gods grace, the light will guide me through this darkness and struggles. I will emerge victorious. Wait and see.

"Lift The Pain"

Every morning, it's the same pain. The pain of this body...
These aches and strains - these limbs, heavy and tired and sore.
The pain of the neighbour, the barking dog, the noise.

Every afternoon, it's the same pain. The pain of this mind...
The same bills, the boss, your girl's constant complaints.
It just never ends... The crushing burdens, they drain you.

Every night, it's the same release. Here, the pain from that other life leaves, fades into the dark, In here, it's your turn to inflict the pain... Your mind clears. You are lifted up. This is transcendence.

Standing in front of impossible weights. The nervousness starts to fill you up. You take the last look in the mirror and descent. Emotionless and cold. There's no "how are you's", no pampering. Its an honor to be improving each and every day. Its an opportunity and a gift. You get to tell the man from the boys, the motivated and the weak. Down here there's very little bullshit. You get to be yourself, take breaks and work when you want to. You're hearts in it or you'd better be elsewhere. The call up for the army is near. Fuck yeah im looking forward to it. I want to run 24's in 7-9 minutes and live a routine life. Adios amigos.

Labels: The neglect

"Live your dreams. Why just touch and go?"

This words shook me.

Every day, In every way ; I am better.

If you fail to plan, you plan to fail. Period.

” Its not how hard you hit, but how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward.”

Resilience

Through all this struggle. I've really lost myself. Consumed.

Im love cooking. I grew to love cooking. I often cook for myself ; you know whats behind that. Walking down the aisle grabbing what you need on sight. But for cooking, you know what you need. Passion, lots of love and patience. Its something difficult to master. You cant rush it. But what i love the most is what it taught me.

The basics.Yes you know what i mean. Its like the squats on leg day.. the curls.. the bench.

Speaking of which, Nothing gets you off more than when its your leg day and you have a kid.. no disrespect but rowing 22 pounds on each end of the bar for the 8th set. He goes for his water breaks and its you at the side of the rack like an animal. I had to share the rack with 2 other guys but they were doing legs as well so i like the shit that they help me with loading the pies. More kids were at the smith on the side. When i was on my third set, i heard someone whisper(fuck man of all guys, im sharing the rack with him) On my fourth set, i had the kids on the side getting rowdy and the gym instructors getting on the edge of the seats. On my last set, i had the gym almost on a standstill. I had the instructors out from the seats, people standing around me(and in front of me)people on the incline bench all turned towards me.. in disbelief The kids were making hell alot of noise but i didnt hear a shit.

It was some funny shit how you have the gym talking about you after that. "You cant force the body to do shit".

Well... Speak for yourself. Im out of here.

Strength and honour.
Hydher

I foster a special relationship with the iron. The iron never freaks out, never runs and never expects. There is this mutual trust between us. Friends may come and go but 200 pounds will always be 200 pounds. The iron comprehends. The iron trusts. The iron is understanding. When i need it the most, I'll know where to find it. Often, I think of it throughout the day. Sometimes, i dream of it. I cant live without it and at times, its all i ever lived for. I am a freak and this is my freak show. The judge, opponents and competitor is me and i couldn't care less who is in the crowd.





Me, at 19 years old.
Period.

Rise and shine motherfuckers. Its the break of a new dawn. Stop procrastinating because this change have to be now. Its now or never. You only have 24hours in a day. Speaking of which, I have slightly less of 18 left.

You know whats fucked up? Its when your want becomes your need and it fucks up the whole balance. A few emerged from this madness while some compromised.

I love my training lately. Kick ass. Feel the pump and go home... it doesn't get any better than this.

My mum was asking me why i need to gym so much. Im entering ns soon. She told me to relax. The truth is...


This is paradise..


Strength and persistence.
Hydher

Exhilaration.

The Mayonnaise Jar and 2 Cups of Coffee

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 cups of coffee.
A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him.
When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous 'yes.'

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

'Now,' said the professor as the laughter subsided, 'I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things---your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions---and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.

The sand is everything else---the small stuff. 'If you put the sand into the jar first,' he continued, 'there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

'Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Spend time with your children. Spend time with your parents. Visit with grandparents. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your spouse out to dinner. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal.

Take care of the golf balls first---the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.'


One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled and said, 'I'm glad you asked.'

'The coffee just shows you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.'

Words without action is a dream.

Development Teamwork Hunger

In my incursion of dismay,i apprehend my downfall.

Distraught over the strings of happenings lately. Distrait and choleric to what i have to shoulder. Im listless. Im selfless but far from defeated.

Right and wrongs follows the descent of right and left.

My girl calls me a machine.

Grasp sand and let it trickle down your fingers. Grasp iron and feel the chill down to the spine. Upon the dusty racks and bars, lays a reflection upon a mirror. A familiar stranger. Upon him is the pain that he has set himself against. The clock is ticking but the time stops for him. All eyes tracks his decent. Like a wolf, a dedicated hunter, his concentration is unbreakable when unleashed. His will is of forged steel. A mastery of dedication, discipline and hunger. His might is unparalleled. He is of selfless - Faceless - void to his existence to his world. On isolation in an inland of pain lays his fortitude, his ignorance. Perhaps His downfall. He tears himself apart only to pick up the pieces again.

He came from pain, regrets and Betrayal. He is unforgiven, unforgettable and from that, he built himself. Pain fills him but he fights back with strength. The more it hurts, the harder he pushes. Enclosing him is a caged of subtle strength.He shall break free. Towards the horizon of another destination. To the path of strength and honour. To relive the dreams that he once sought after. Perhaps he is a man better left alone. Where his smiles is of a stage and that his happiness is subjective.

A born killer. Cold, heartless and holds no remorse. His mission maketh him. Unsentimental. Lifeless. There's no place for him in this cold war. His lost yet on a stern ground.

kudos amigos.

"Im not afraid of over training and the aftermaths - Just under."

Its been mad lately - Low stress, hours of effort, great sleep, good food.

Some shape





Some size





Some symmetry

Alright.

There are certain things in life which i have no right to have any influence over or possibly change. However, it doesnt help that by nature, im not someone who can easily accept shortcomings. But i know, to grow, we have to learn get over that or we will never - Move on with life.

A few days ago, i met with a road accident which almost took away my life. I came out of it only stronger and hungrier than ever. It took hell alot of effort, time and emotions to get over it and im glad that god gave me another shot at life. When i checked that my limbs were in place and embracing that familiar pain, i know that i'll be back, pushing my mettle against all this restraints for me, myself and I.

Strength and honour.
Hydher

A vid taken a few days after the comp in 07. Shortly after i turned 18.
Enjoy.

When i step into the gym room, what i have is a sincere hand full of opportunity, a heart of determination and a whole list of twisted thoughts to bring me through a kick ass training. I know my weaknesses and i know my strengths and i make full use of them to bring out the best in me. Im not and idiot in the gym and i respect that those who comes here that they have their own reasons. Im here to find myself and im here to build upon that. Brick by brick, nail by nail until this whole fucking house is build. This is me and I am hydher. With strength and honour, I'm here to beget.

More pain, more gain.

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

--Reinhold Niebuhr

Good! I see some improvements despite 3% increase of bodyfat as advised. Just wanted to show some legs from all the effort. But not too much.. I dont want to be receiving the wrong attention. hahahaha.

People find it weird how i can train alone, walk alone and eat alone. They think it isnt healthy being alone most of the time. The truth is, its always have been a choice. I am aware that my thoughts are twisted and deep and it isnt fun being around me. Since many cant comprehend, i prefer to keep silent ; to speak and act only if it makes a difference towards positivity. I make every decision seems life threatening and i plan two steps ahead of everything that i have to do. I dont blame those around me to not being able to keep up with me. The truth is you cant or at least it is difficult. We each have our own set of priorities, believes and principles.


Ive been living life on the edge. Im always pushing myself. Im always having to be somewhere or doing something. It feels good being able to keep up with all this twisted expectation ; to feel defeated at the end of the day with a wicked grin on
my face or a worried gut feeling knowing that i fell short today. To know that i am heading somewhere , a step at a time with every effort that i make makes this world a better place.


Strength and honour
Hydher

Stand in front of a mirror. If you look long enough, and deep enough, you'll find faint whispers within. What are they telling you? The truth. They dont lie. So listen to them.

Now think.. think deeper. Let this thoughts stay by you and guide you. Be aware of every movement. How you look, how you talk and how you think. They maketh you. A man is not his job. Neither is it in the things he does. Its much much deeper. Do you have a character? A personality? What pushes you on? What makes you angry? If you know them, use them to your advantage to excel.

I believe that with more self reflection , deeper thoughts you could rise.

At the end of the day, its how you look at yourself.

Labels: Look deeper

So true.

Just when i thought this blog was dead and the only one who is reading it is me, i was proven wrong from time to time. Just a request ; Please dun visit this blog too often. Its meant to be underground and at times, twisted and personal.

Weirdly, i had my fitness test a few days back. So i had to do chin ups and decided that since i was going to hit my back in the gym afterwards, ill go for a max out chin up. Felt rather satisfied of how i did until i had a kid came up to me and said ; " I saw you check out your biceps while you was doing your chin ups.. i thought it was rather cocky" Gave me a funny look and quickly walked away. Moral of the story? Perhaps i had a story to tell from where i came from but some people would rather use a blind eye. Next time around, perhaps.. just perhaps.. ill give in to conformity ; just to ease their minds. Its easier to be ignorant than to understand at times.. i understand.

I just thought that id share after the few weeks(or was it months?) of kick ass dieting. Of coz, i didnt just owe it to just myself. My girl, my mum and the mini rice cooker was of a great help. Not much of a secret. Just head up hard on the cardio and stick to only good ol' low gi carbs and eliminate processed food. Ignore the messy and so not in the mood background, acne cream and retarded head gear. Im not here to impress. Trying to join up the obliques and lats as a side project. Lets see if it works.

Remember this, remember that, remember a whole list of regrets. If the lord gave me a second chance ill do things differently but never mind that, i have the whole future to make things right. I shall, i will ; for without that, i will only be falling into a deadly trap. For strength, for honour. It will make me a better person when its all over. Think before you act.

Breathe.. Take my hand. Guide me in every step.. every breath. For only you lies the path to my destination. Only through you will i taste the sweetness after the bitterness of my journey. Fate will be controlled with your hands and the future will be your vision. May your wishes be empowered with strength and may the only thing that lies between you and your desires is luck. May the people surrounding you and beyond grow and those who oppose you crumble. I wish to hear you speak again the way you did to me before. For i be patiently waiting and searching to unleash the strength within.

-Believe in yourself and listen only to your conscience.

43 days

How do you grow?

1. Be positive. Look forward to what you do. Your life is a living hell doesnt mean that it should become you. Life is a choice.
2. If you fail to plan, you plan to fail. Pen down in your thoughts or on a piece of paper. If there are no vision, there will be no sight. What can go wrong will go wrong.
3. Work hard. Get going. Failure is an event. Not a person.

Take a pen and paper. Draw two dots on the opposite ends. Connect those dots. Take a step back. How did you connect them? Do you go around in circles? Or is there a broken line? Is it a straight line? Yeah there may be some slight deviation but it was inevitable with what you had. Perhaps that was the best that you could do. Start developing those thoughts. This two points represents you and your goals. It takes common sense to realize that you shouldn't be wasting time. Start prioritizing. Know what is it that you want and start acting on it. I dont play the lottery and neither do i believe in it.Turn every chance into an opportunity. Make every situation a success. Use ur mind to think. Your eyes to evaluate. There are two ways you can make a difference. Words and actions. Be in control of them and you will go far in life.

Things dont just happen. You make them happen.

Restraints? Limits? Its a fine line. Keep pushing. Keep climbing. Be young, be ambitious. Be unstoppable. Be limitless. Be a machine.

Strength and honor.

I dont understand. I cant comprehend. I cant relate. Was i born this way? Or was it nurtured? Its who i am and im proud of that. Every last drop of it.

Its my time for redemption. Lets call it a double shot.

Live for the future. Never the present.

"When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child:
But when I became a man, I put away childish things." 1 Corinthians 13:11

Stop. Look ahead. Breathe. Its like a climb. Full of hardships. But giving up aint no option. No doubt its a struggle. No one said it was easy. If there is one thing that i could depend on, its me.

Strength and honour. Gear up for the rough ride ahead.

Liabilities

I just cant learn to let go.

Result from project "lose the tummy".

Pure hard work. Still have plenty of room for improvements.

You heard it again. bla bla fucking bla. the have nots. they talk so much. they talk more than they walk. Shit. they aint even walking. you know who i am talking about.. i cant comprehend them.. they are full of shit.. they never fail to tell you what they want to be. how they are going to achieve it.. but fuck that. Listening to them was just a piss in the wind. they aint helping themselves. they aint hungry.. they are those who were born with a fucking silver spoon in the mouth. They grow on peoples pity and they argue for all the wrong reasons. They always have a reason to state for their downfall. Save it.. I had enough.. I cant comprehend them.

Life is full of shit and its great. Just when you thought you were at the top, things go against you. Dont be afraid of pushing against the restraints. Get a grip, gather up some cojones because it going to take a real man to get his hands dirty. Dun bother about life's simple pleasures and cheap thrills because they are full of shit. A fucking distraction from the main picture. Once you take the shit, it gives you more shit and youre fucking screwed.

When you want something so badly, dont let other people take the shit away from you.. and i mean nobody.. Be selfish, savour victory.. trust me.. when you get the whole pie to yourself, It'll taste much better..

Bodybuilding. shit.. just by saying the word it evokes a certain excitement in me. There's never a clear finishing line, never a limit. So here i will always be ; against my despair.

Pain is my forte.

A grass greener on the other side? Here i am again stuck in a whole lump of bullshit.





Brothers, listen. Life is is all about choices. At times you make the right one and at times you got the short end of the stick. Hold on there.. Dont fret. Dont be afraid of changes. Its difficult i know but for life is a journey, it is never a one way street unless you want it to be. Rides dont have to be bumpy if you PLAN AHEAD. Makins u turns can be a pain in the ass but it gets you out of shit.




Plan far ahead. Never let your ambitions be something temporary. Temporary things dont last. Mistakes comes in all different sizes and shapes but being able to comprehend what had happened, reflect and take something home, lock it in your mind and never make the same mistakes twice separates the men and the boys.




Time is short brothers. We all live once. Cherish it.




Mind body and soul - Strength and honour.

Hydher

...It is not about giving up. its realising that you dont need certain people, the bullshits and the drama that they bring......

Redemption. One step at a time.

I miss the stage.

The house.

Who we are. Who we want to be. Who we want others to think we are.

Its a fine line. I walk around. I see kids. I see women dressed to the nines. shit.. Im seeing people looking at me. but i dun judge them neither do i want them to.

Just like a house. You see the nice painted walls, the roof. What you dont see is the sticks, cement, nails.. whats there to hold it together.

I dont worry about them. I dont shape who they are. Im not thinking what they want me to think because i dont know them. Only you truly know what it took you to get there because you endured every singele moment . Your morals tells you whats wrong and whats right. At the end of the day, its that will.. that vision that makes you...
you.

Singlehood

For some people, it's a walk in the park. They relish the freedom of not being tied down by another person, and having the time and space to pursue personal passions, like picking up a new language, learning how to pole-dance, or going for rock-climbing lessons. They see it as an opportunity to explore who they really are, and who they can be.

On they flip side of the coin, some singles feel like they got the short end of the stick. They find themselves constantly envying otherss, and feeling incomplete in a group of lovey-dovey, starry-eyed couples. Things get even worse when they see the class nerd going out with a hot bobe or hunk. They find themselves contantly asking "What's wrong with me?"

I miss having the weight of the world on my back. How i missed stepping in a gym so focused that nothing could stop me. It used to be everything that i lived for. Everything that i ever dreamed of. How it left me with a wicked grin everytime im done with my last rep. How i had to deal with funny looks everytime that i am out. The touch of the cold metal. That clanging of iron plates.

Whatever that ive gotten myself into, im picking up the pieces. Ill be back. Harder and stronger than i ever was.

=)

Life has been a nightmare. Its scary how action comes wth responsibilities. Is life really all about opportunities, effort and choices? I find myself entangled in the ever winding rat race. The days passes so fast that i find my life being stated in a dairy even before the day commences.

No regrets. We live life once they say.

*here i am trying to be stronger with every day that passes through. You shattered me into million of pieces when you walked out of that door. I keep telling myself to forgive and forget and that life should exist in a straight line. Im trying hard not to contradict and move in circles with the haunting past trailing behind me. I miss the smell of your hair.How my heart skipped a beat when our eyes met. That enchanting smiles that took my worries away. How we laid under the stars staring into each others eyes till the break of dawn. How i looked forward to hear your voice and the sweet parting sorrows of goodnight and goodbyes. I burned your pictures and dumped the presents and yet all that is left is ashes of the memories of what we use to share. Its frustrating i admit. Haunting me with every moment that ticks. What hurt the most was that you never asked, never expected yet i gave whatever i could but things went down inevitably from what i and we used to have. I never had any regrets but why does it feel that you are something that seems so impossible to get over? I wonder at times. Do you still think of me? I really hoped that you moved on and found someone who understands you better. Wish you all the best and i hope you work hard towards your ambitions and do your parents proud. Never give up =)

I find it so hard to love again.You falstered my perception and defined my expectations.I can only hope that for the love of my soul that our lines may never meet. If we do then may i be blessed with the strength to resist the thoughts that have smoulthered me throuthout the empty years.

What doesnt destroy me only makes me stronger. and dear.. i miss you more than anything else.

Chasing a dream


Fear and laziness bring shame and dishonor

Either way, I don't care. I'm here to do work, not to get anyone's approval

I never had good genetics, but what I've always had is the ability to “will” things to happen

I believe that if you want something bad enough and you are willing to pay the price to get it, you will achieve.

The will to train, to focus, to visualize, and to commit. These are the building blocks, principles far more important than genetics. I look at so many other bodybuilders and think to myself, “If I have done what I have, imagine what they could do, with just a little help.” I will train harder, longer, out-diet, out-cardio, out-everything anyone to get what I want. I will outlast and I promise that when the dust settles, I will be the one left standing.


We can all learn some thing new every day. Yeah you probably heard that same line from teachers, parents or anyone else you thought was wrong about the in's and out's of life while growing up. When I was a kid growing up and I would hear that shit, I would think to my self, "Shut up and get out of my face." Well guess what? Take it from me, we are always given opportunities from which we can learn no matter what your age, no matter how much experience and knowledge you may have. There is always room for more.

Most bodybuilders would probably be considered extremists to normal people, meaning we take everything to the extreme. We push harder, go heavier, take it right to the fucking edge. Or we just have more drive, desire and balls

With my good friend


It amazes me how conventional thinking could exist when there is a pursuit of something extradionary. I see people training in groups, talk between their sets with smiles on their faces and head to the nearest fast food centre after that. How could there be conventional thinking when knowledge and principles are vast? Unless of course their principles are weak and that extrinsic motivation fueles them.


weird


Perhaps this are the people who never make gains. Perhaps these are the people with ever changing principles who tells you their everchanging plans to take over the world each time you see them.


I get weird looks when i am eating my meals. They dont understand why i cant let loose and hang by them past midnight at mac d. Why i cant eat with them at the canteen or catch the latest movie screenings- it is after all the off-season. This is selfishness of life over body. What doesnt break you makes you stronger. Forget the off-season this is the growth season. The season which makes a difference. It is the time to test feed your body and push ur body to its limits knowing that you have the stores to back it up. That mistakes can rebuilt.


It might sound weird but im hooked on the on-season dieting phrase. Its like a drug i cant get over. When i see the cuts, the fullness of the muscles, the veins ive never seen before i get this sudden excitement within. Words cant describe the sudden influx of the pump within the muscles. Or the burn on the abs when doing sit ups.


Who cares about conventional thinking. I do what i want to. I dont want to live life with margins. I dont want to believe in overtraining.


The competition was like stepping into a new dimension. People was speaking languages like water deplete, pumping up, sodium loading and tapping when applying the bronzer. There i was trying to get myself ready and at the mean time trying to get in what i could. I am passionate about the sport and i knew that not everyone gets to hit it right the first time round. However, there are certain things that i find it hard to accept. Especially when winning becomes a priority it becomes dirty. I have my own goals and priorities. I know a few people who are considered champions but don’t mean shit to me. Aside from winning, they never did anything for anyone. They certainly never did anything for the sport of bodybuilding, let alone anything mentionable outside of the sport. I never made winning my focus and I refuse to start now. I was a bodybuilder before I ever competed. It’s who I am. With or without anyone’s approval it’s who I’ll always be. Win or lose, it’s not gonna make or break me. I live by my own standards. It’s just me against me.


I never cheated. Never skipped a meal. Did my cardio. Trained my ass off and never took shortcuts. Its my first year in training and i am hungry for more. I learned so much and met so many nice people. I might be young and naive but i really want to learn more and to improve physically and characteristics.

Embarking yet on another journey with no resolutions broken. With a stronger will comes a stronger yield. Im not afraid of failure because it made me. Winning doesnt come by easily and it never will be.



Made improved resolutions. I wont fall short.

Dare to dream. Live the dream.


Strength and honour.

Hydher.

Hi all its me and im back.


This few days has its test on patience on me. But the closer i get, the more motivated i become. My body might be weak but the mind gets only stronger. I treat every days as my last. Everyday is judgement day and i never live to regret.


Its not about the johnsons who picks on me. Its not about that guy who hogs the bench press and make noises. Its not about the kid who keeps correcting your form. Its about the people who believes in you and what you do to make this people proud just to know your name or who you are.


When my grip loosens and the sweat hurts my eyes, i picture the life before me. I picture the faces of the people which had touched my life in so many ways. I want to do them proud. I want what they belived in me to come true. I never want to disappoint anyone.


I could be just another kid and be rebellious and drifting to a bad company. I could be on a drug program and say that what i had become is only of my hard work. But when i stepped into this game i made a promise that every decision what i make will only make me stronger. Any decision I made after that was only empowering. I will never compromise who i am to become who i want to be. I dont want to walk behind a shadow or follow someone footsteps. I want this to be my journey. A path only a few man has dare to take. I want to be a role model and make others believe in me when i say hard work truly pays.


This is me and this is my journey. It has only begun.


This is the address for those who asked. Thanks for making the effort.



Address:

1st july. 10am
WEST COAST RECREATION CENTRE
12 West Coast Walk, West Coast Recreation Centre
Singapore 127157
Tel" 6778 8966; Fax: 6774 1048

Direct bus services
West Coast Road (30, 51, 78, 143, 285, 30B)
Ayer Rajah Expressway (97, 97E, 196, 197, 198, 963)



MRT
Nearest MRT Station: Clementi MRT Station
Minutes walking towards Clementi Sports Hall / Clementi Sports Complex
the West Coast Recreation Centre is just across the road.


The event would start at 10am and i was told my category would be at raftly 11am. Hope to see you there. Your support counts.

Yeah its been a while.

This entry would be entitled the price we pay.


It could drive the weak hearted mad.


Dedication?

I cant bring my girl out for dinner because im cash strapped. I cant eat out during the weekends and i got 20 pounds of chicken breast in the fridge. I gota get my precontest tan and im telling you it sucks. Two sessions a day for two weeks can really test your patience. Time management really plays a part.

Training?

Shit i cant even get started. Low on sodium. Low on carbs. I feel miserable. Cant get a pump. Cant concentrate.

Cardio?

Damn... cardio is the last thing that i want to think about. Get up at 5am. Up and running at 5.03.


The food?

Its tasteless shit. Damn.. Fruits are from heaven and chicken breast are from hell.


But i stand in front of the mirror at the end of the day. Watching more veins appearing from nowhere and muscle fibre's that ive never seen before, it all becomes worthwhile.

Strength and honour. Hydher.

Labels: The price we pay

Reliving the past

This journey is the most test for me. Who i really am. The pressure is so real.


I am so disappointed in myself. I was too caught up over the whole competition bonanza that i had failed to realise the purpose of life. My purpose. I wanted to make it right the first time. But this is life. Hardly does anyone make it right the first time they tried. Even babies had to learn to crawl before they could walk. Life is an ever learning experience. Dont be afraid of failure because failure is never fatal. Life is an ever learning process. It is a journey. If you fail once it wouldnt mean that your journey would end there. Learn to pick up yourself when you've fallen because you know that one day you will achieve it if you learn from mistakes and put in the hardwork. Be strong in what you do and believe in it. Strength does not come from winning. Strength is when you go through trials and tribulation and you tell yourself what you would not give up. That is real strength.



So this is it. I would not be afraid of failure. I will not be shrunken into a scared individual when it comes to trials. I would stand on my very feet. I will embrace the results with my dedication, disipline and sacrifices that imposed on myself to achieve.


I paid my dues. I work my ass out. I never missed a workout. Never did a grade two choir girl effort in whatever i did. I never skimped on meals. I never partied. So here i dare stand with my hands open and ready to embrace my destiny. I have done my part on what i believe in as the truth and i will leave it for fate to decide. Did i said fate? Fuck yeah im starting to believe in it.

16 days 1 hr 24mins and 10 seconds.

This is where it has come to. The hunger that is soo real. It keeps on going on. It gets so strong its uncontrollable by the minute. But this is what keeps me on. The anguish it has left me. There's a small whisper within that tells me to hold on. That all this struggle will pay off. To clear my mind off uncertainty. To stay positive.


It is really difficult. When the struggle peaks. No one said it was easy. Yet it was a path i chosed. I literally came with nothing and now im leaving with my hands full.This journey is like walking into a cave. I could enjoy the peace and enjoyable life from where i came from. Instincts tell me that at the end of that tunnel. There is hope. A hope that is worth fighting for. At the end of that tunnel will be light. It will take me places no man has been. Besides, if you did what you've always done, you'll get what you always got. Im not afraid of getting lost because whats there for me to claim is beyond.


Making ends meet by the day. Making do with whats avaible. But i dont complain. I keep my sheets clean. I worked hard to get to where I am. "Work Ethics" they say. It gets you every where. I speak only the truth. Hear only the truth and put this hands on to whats real.


I have come to claim whats mine. With every second whats ticking i realise who i really am. Physically, psycologically and spiritually. Sometimes, it feels as if im going against the tide. I dare to walk my own path and claim what's truthfully mine.


*Bodybuilding isnt a sport. It isnt a hobby. Its who i am. literally.

Getting lost.


I held onto this string long enough. Followed the modest and conventional way of thinking. Days to weeks to months to years went by and i held on to the rope for dear life while ascending momentarily. Then it came to a point where the rope goes as long as it could. Then came the decision i had to make. This rope wouldnt bring me any further than it wants me to. I wanted to be a high achiever. I love challenges and i want to reach unchartered heights. So I broke the chains with all the might that i have. I let go of that rope and started climbing higher and higher. Risking whatever i have brought with me for this journey. When i reached the stars and i drew my hand out to touch it, i question myself " Is it worth all the effort? I couldnt start to think. It as a decision i made and i would leave throught it. For all i know this journey taught me something that i would bring with me for the rest of my life.


Dont be scared to lose yourself. When you lose yourself, you can find who you really are. Have a direction in life and it will be the ultimate test of time and character that you thought you had. Its time to find the real you. Preparation can take you only so far before you take on that leap of faith to reach unchartered heights. Be ambitous. If you fail get back up and start again. Failure would hurt but pain is only temporary. Glory is forever. There's a light at the end of the tunnel that is worth the long enduring journey. The a goal oriented individual has to bear the isolation. It is a price to pay and a road we choose. I gave up so much for this journey. The future of a conventional life. The loved ones that i left behind. I am not a believer of failure. For whatever i did I gave my best in it. The effort is worth the respect. The journey is more important for the destination and i learnt that the hard way.


Never stop trying to achieve your goals. For the moment you stop trying, your dreams becomes less true.'

Its Leg Day and you could give yourself a thousand excuses to pack up and go home. A recount of what leg training particularly squats is to me.


I approached the bar. I reach out my hands and grasp the bar. I embrace the coldness of the bar as i notice the sharp image of myself in the mirror at a distance. I straighten my thoughts. I question my presense. Why am i here for G? The blantant food throughout the day. The Protein powders that taste like shit. The tuna can which was never friendly. The giant pills that were difficult to swallow. The isolation and individualism which i have been embracing all this while. No. Im not here just because its part of my routine.I am here because I want to be here. I am left with the only expectations for the day which question me standing here looking at myself. I did my best in school. I got up at 6am and i am here in the gym at 7pm- the earliest that i could be. When other would call it a day and complain about the 4 hour bus rides everyday, my other half of the day has just begun. The other half of the day was dedicated to the conformity of the society to hold a diploma and the other half to my dreams. I shake my head. Time is a motherfucker. He waits for no one. Time is money and i never seem to have enough of both. I snap out of my thoughts and give my training partner the nod. Then i start loading my side of the bar with a plate. He starts first as i watch behind. Noticing his pace or form which i could improve on myself. he's done and I approach the bar not thinking too much and do an easy 10 reps focusing on warming up the joints and get blood pumping into the muscle. Trust me , the fibre tearing and stretch mark training is still to come. We load a second plate to the bar the same thing happens. Then comes the 3rd set. 6 plates on the bar and Im at the back supporting my partner up. With a knee problem(which everyone seems to have), and his age surpassing 40, standing at 1.68m perhaps, I give my my kudos for 3-4 reps. Then comes my turn we load another plate into the bar totalling eight plates. 8 fucking plates to 180kg inclusive of the bar. I never got used to such a weight. I'm still breathing hard. Trying to keep my legs straight(standing up). I look the the sides of the bar checking the thickness of the piles of weight and the eventness of the bar. That the brackets are up properly and the safety bar thrown on the floor. I noticed the bar is already bent from the 6 plated squats and now there's 8. Then i position myself below the bar. Feeling the cushion upon my shoulders. With my left leg forward into a lunge position i gather my thoughts and the torment that was approaching. My thoughts went wild. I comfort myself repeatedly telling myself that i have done this before and i shall do this again. Pain is temporary but glory is forever. This time people from the gym starts gathering to the benches behind me. The clear the front and i know that it was time. The time to descent. I push the weight up with the ready adrenaline. The suspense of the plates of the side leaving the rack. The bar bends and the weights at the side bounces up and down to the momentum of my steps to leave the bracket into unsupported brims. Then i descent with confidence for the first rep realising why squat is the most hated exercise. Then comes the second rep. People around start to worry about me more than myself. Then comes the third. I start to strengthen my balance with my legs sinking into the padded carpet. I survived. My partner is telling me to re-rack the weights but i refuse. Every rep matters. To what separates. My legs are shaking but i still stand strong. I descent into the forth rep taking everything with me. He stand behind me with his hand around my waist incase i lose it. Going down slowly is a challenge. Going against gravity is much harder. I shout. I scream. Whatever it takes to get my respect from myself. I did it. Im up and i re-rack the bar. Being hardly able to stand up i approached the side of the bar to re-rack the weights. Staring at the defeated bar with a grin of completence. Then i crawl to the bench as my partner starts filling up the smith machine. Then continues the other tormenting and toiling challenges.


Time for class.


Living on the edge. Strength and honour.

Hydher

Disipline that is the name of the game. This sport requires so much that it demands every drop of effort from you. Do or die. This is life. Face hardship as a challenge.Try to stay positive most of the time. Remove all negativity in your life because they hinder the growth of positivity. Being and amature in the sport i learnt how to say hungry. I learned to be fueled by passion. I have to do it as a sidetrack. When others would call it a day, my journey is just halfway done. Until then. Strength and honour. I will persevere.


Bodybuilding is 99% mental and 1% physical. Onwards we go. My time is approaching.