Stay Hungry.

I miss it all.

How i could walk down the streets and have people recognizing me from my blog or from what i do. How i could get under 1/4 of a ton and do squats with that with the gym caretaker at the edge of his fucking seat and all attention i got that i didnt give a shit about. It aint about glamour its about struggles and finding grace in all this mayhem.

I used to be against the saying what doesnt kill you makes you stronger.
Now, i live by that word.
Its about how events may have crippled you. How you find your stakes shorter when you are there to receive them or to have whats yours taken away from you and yet you fight back to make up for your shortcoming and working harder to get back to it ; better. It takes alot of motivation.

Its funny how some find can refer to a things that matter lightly. To me who i am represents me and my identity.

If you are reading this. Get-the-fuck-out-of-my-life. I dont want you. I dont need you. You got nothing i need. I tried to be all diplomatic about it but i came to realize that you dont deserve a single fucking drop of that. I'll be nice only to those that matters. You are weak. I should have listened to them on you. I should have known better. You will soon recognize karma because he'll slap you hard in the face with it when the right time comes.

Because changes comes from within.

"Don’t keep the past in your mind. Don’t be stressed over the future. Because if you’re too worried about what has already happened and what might happen, you can’t focus on what’s right in front of you. The present is what makes the future and what helps you move on from the past."

There comes a point in your life when you realize what really matters, what never did and what always will.

There comes a point in your life when you realize who really matters, who never did and who always will.

Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it’s always your choice.

Lack of passion is fatal

Leave your fears behind.

After awhile you learn the implications and weightage of actions and decisions. The difference in implications of decisions made on rationalization than emotions. How easy it is to fall into a whirlpool of affection and drown in obsession. How your fortress could become your cage if build on the wrong grounds on hasty and rash decisions. How priorities could shift in accordance to situations when the only constant is change. You begin to learn how important it is to only open doors when you feel that you could take on whats on the other side and to shut those that wouldn't matter. How at times, bad decisions are better than no decisions. To how some pursuits are best dropped like a hot potato. Be not afraid of mistakes as they are only lessons in preparation for something greater. Some roads no matter how tough have to be traveled on to reach others. Have a little faith, equip yourself with strength, the right values(MQ) Prepare yourself(IQ) and (Social approaches if applicable)EQ. Know how YOU can be compromised and never let yourself be in that situation.

You learn that you really can endure. You learned how to adapt. That you really are strong. You know best to have never stood so low. That you really do have worth to take on whatever life throws at you. That you could make do with whats little left of you to the fullest potential. You begin to accept ill fates and defeats with your head held up high and your eyes wide open because each failure brings you a leap closer and how you dislike successes because it only breeds contentment. To handle situations with the grace of maturity and not the grief of a child.

After awhile you learn that even sunshine may burn if you get too much. So plant your own garden and build your own soul instead of waiting for someone to bring you the fruits.

Whats that? Nothing good lasts forever?
Remember..
Good times doesnt last but neither do bad ones.

The pain of discipline and self restraint is negligent compared to the pain of disappointment.

I question myself constantly is this time of chaos. Who am I? What do i have? What do i want? What do i need? What are my desires? What are my weaknesses? What are my goals? All in hopes of finding myself again in this rubble of despair. I have embraced this load of pain. And its starting to taste bitter sweet.

My reasons have scattered. So much fear. So much pain. So much hatred. This bitter sweet angst has to be directed. Like the direction of rage of a charging bull. Time to leave this fortress turned into a hell hole and rebuild the empire.

No matter what life throws at me, I believe I can deal with it.
I analyze the situation, look for solutions, and choose the best one.

Was hanging out at just another Starbucks with an extraordinary person. This normal night turned out be a hustle to who i was and whom i was set out to be. The thoughts were so deep and based ; matured and so right. It was flawless and strong. Just beautiful.

My philosophies had always been my asylum, my foundation, strength and values. It had always kept me hungry and dedicated. Why did i leave it all behind?

Take a piece of paper and a pencil. Dot out your start and end point. Next, draw a freehanded line. Its fairly straight but who you kidding? its just not right. shit.. Use a ruler and join them together. Right there is the ideal approach you ought to be taking between you and your goals. No bullshit. but with the shit life throws at you, there are bound to be some hiccups, some screw ups and detours.. you might even end up going back and forth or in circles(circles are for losers who never learn). But keep your eyes at that point because only until you've reached close, you will never know fulfillment and your life would be one not worth living.

Life is too short to be dreaming. Grab your dreams by the balls and start working towards it. Those steps to those dreams have been walked before and those which havent, belongs to the greatest. No one is going to spoon feed you or tell you how it is to be done. You just have to find them.

Sorry this is raw. No whipped cream or topping on top.