Life isnt what it used to be. Days when i could worry about nothing. Days when i could run home and hide im my room. I feel the responsibility put against me. So much expectations to meet.
I want people to know that from where i came up from, i grew up to be a different person. I didnt had anyone to confide in but myself. I didnt like people telling me what i could or not do. I choosed only to mix around with those who i wanted to. I grew up in a world that i wanted to be in. A world that i shaped myself. My parents seemed only to be of a disiplinary relationship and sisters were only there because they existed. I got into a relationship with so much expectations to meet but i left with none obliged. I neglected myself at that phrase of time. I directed all emotions and effort into building what was between us that i forgot about finding myself. I was souless. I didnt know who i was. It ended as soon as it came. I left with nothing. Drifting into a world of negligence. I was depressed. Pathetic.
Then one day. I knew that i had to accept what happened. I had to learn from it. I knew that it was an uphill struggle but i didnt want to run from it for all my life. I wanted to face it. I wanted to carry on with life. Slowly but surely i did on my own. I learnt to channel my emotions and thoughts correctly. It wasnt easy especially when everything around me reminded me of her. When all i ever used to live for was her. It was like losing a limb. She was a friend, a lover, a sister and a mother to me. One thing that i ever learnt in life is to accept.
Things have changed. I respect my parents. They are my role models. My grandparents for being proud of me. I love my sisters because they are supportive. I could easily name those who mean the world to me right now. Paul who has always believe in me and there for me to confide in. Myren who understand me most of the time and hold no grudges. Jia hong for believing in me. David for understanding me. Chi wei for looking up to me. Thank you all for being there.
Who doesnt want to win? We doesnt want to be the best in whatever he does. But who is willing to put in as much effort and dedication to his doings? Why do people hate me so much? Why do they want me to see me fail and fall so much? Why do they see this as a challenge? Why do they use me to cover their own insecurities? My life isnt a competition. Bodybuilding is what i do but it isnt who i am. So dont judge me. Im just a man with a dream. A vision. Walking my own path to my maker. If there's someone in front of me then ill keep my distance and wait my turn. Until then. I hate no one. Dislike no one. Respect everyone. I just want to be me and work towards my goal. So please to the haters. See that. Its all business. Nothing personal.
Labels: Peace